June 16, 2015

Into the light of the dark black night

A lot of things happen in our life and we sometimes expect those circumstances and the events that happen to define how we feel and how we act, but it turns out that those have very little to do with our attitude or our happiness/sadness. I had always thought that if I had clear skin, and long blonde hair, and I got married that I would finally be truly happy all the time and with my entire life. Then I got all of those things and guess what, I wasn't happy yet. 

One of the scariest realizations is that we have more impact on our attitude and our moods then we give ourselves credit for. We constantly blame our circumstances for being unhappy, or sad, or just miserable in general, but that is just not a good enough reason because those actually have very little to do with it.

I'm not saying that sad things that happen in our lives shouldn't make us sad. When I had my miscarriage there was no way that in that moment or even a week after I was going to be able to smile really and mean it deep down, but that also can turn around. After my miscarriage I had moments that were really happy- and I appeared really happy temporarily, but I was still miserable. 

"I'll be happy when..."

It's unfortunate because I truly let myself believe that the reason I was sad half of my life was because things weren't working out in my favor. Things were always someone else's fault.

I really don't mean this to offend anyone. This is actually a great thing! This means that no matter what your circumstances are you have the power to make yourself happy! You have the power to be the happiest you've ever been in your entire life even if these circumstances are the worst they've ever been! 

It's not an easy thing to do but that doesn't mean it can't be done. It takes the motivation that anything else that is hard to achieve needs. Constant reminder of what you truly want will give you the motivation to do everything that you need to to be constantly happy!


  • Count your blessings. There is always something good in your life.
  • Don't let yourself focus on the negatives. Sometimes we want to complain and whine about all the things wrong in our lives- don't let yourself do that.
  • Keep a journal. If you note everything in your life as facts then you'll see that it's not so bad.
  • Look at how far you've come! I bet you're way better off now, or you're more mature, or something about you is better and different then it used to be! You've learned so much.
  • Let yourself be happy. This can be the hardest. Sometimes we don't feel confident or worthy of true happiness and we constantly look for the negatives.
  • Do not assume it'll get worse. You can keep staying positive regardless of what is happening- do not be afraid that you'll be disappointed if you're too happy. 


  1. Lauryn,
    I just found your blog, and I've been reading through it. First of all, I really admire your strength, and your faith through the trials you've found yourself in. It really says a lot about you! Secondly, I love this post. I can definitely relate when you say that if you were this and this and had this, you'd be happy. I've really been struggling with finding things that make me happy. I always thought of it as a destination, when it's really a byproduct of other things. I love your tips, and I love this blog!


    1. Hey! Thank you so much for how sweet you are and all the nice things you said! I really really really appreciate it :) I'm glad you can relate too-- also, I love your blog and you are freaking gorgeous! I was browsing through yours today and just kept thinking "she is beautiful!"

  2. This is so beautiful, and you make such a good point. My mother always taught me to aim for 'contentment' and take moments of complete happiness as extra little blessings on top - it's so easy to expect total happiness all the time, but it's actually those little things you list that make a difference in the long run. Thanks a lot for this post, the reminder came at a good time!