June 29, 2015

How To Avoid Comparison

My mom has said from the very beginning of my life "everybody is going through something and nobody is actually as perfect as they appear." I just never believed her. One of my biggest trials was looking at somebody else's life and wishing that I had it. I wished I looked like certain girls, or had the money that some people had, or got to travel like some other people, and I could never understand why my life wasn't as lucky as theirs.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." As we're going about our lives staring at other people and wondering why our lives aren't as fortune as them we are actually diminishing ourselves and putting ourselves down.

So, how can we avoid doing that and what can we do to make ourselves feel better about our own lives and circumstances?

1. Show Gratitude
It is so hard to be thinking about what you don't have when you are giving gratitude for what you do. Take time to count your blessings. When I had my miscarriage I thought about all of the things that I got to do now that I wasn't pregnant- would I prefer to have my baby? Of course, but I was so busy thinking of all of the great things about my life that I almost didn't have time to be sad.

2. Cool Down
Take a walk, read a book, listen to your favourite song. Do something that you know is going to take your mind off of what you're thinking about. This can be the hardest thing to do. Sometimes we actually want to be sad, but getting up the courage to do something to distract us is an incredible thing.

3. You're Only Seeing What They Show
You have no idea what is going on behind the scenes of somebody's life. Consider what you put forth in your day to day life. You don't show how poor you are, or how tired you are, or how miserable you are because you're stuck in the same town. You put on a smile and show off everything good about your life- and that is what everybody is doing! You have no idea what battles other people are facing. Do not compare what you see behind the scenes of your life to what they show on center stage of theirs.

4. Use Those People as Motivation
Do they have or do they do something that you really want? Do everything in your power to go toward that goal. Stop comparing yourself to the fact that you don't have it right now and think about what you can do right now to have it later! Less comparison and more motivation!

5. Think About Your Own Successes 
You probably did something amazing today! Even if you just got out of bed when you really didn't want to- you still did it! Maybe you got a really good grade on a test, maybe you made a really good dinner, or maybe you worked out today (that alone is worth millions). You are an amazing person, and if you spend time focusing on all of the great things about you personally then suddenly it won't matter what other people have accomplished.

Even though sometimes it seems like we are the only people struggling while everybody around us totally has their life completely figured out, it's really not true. We are all struggling with our own things. Do not allow yourself to fall into comparison, because it will trap you and it'll be hard to get out. Remember all of your own personal values!

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